the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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