I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
