it wasn't lemon gatorade
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
