I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
