how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
