i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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