it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
