We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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