So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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