i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
