member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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