At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
