is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
