I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
