I didn't shave. On purpose
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
