that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I think i got beer on your cat.
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