your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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