we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
