You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
