IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
