Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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