all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
