You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
