I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
