I think I just saw someone hide a body.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
