I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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