my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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