Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
