That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
my sisters under your porch take her home
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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