whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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