I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Randomize
