I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
