Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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