The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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