Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Randomize
