Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
