obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
