omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
