watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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