to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
