If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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