so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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