i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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