How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
