I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
