Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
