I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize