There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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