i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
