ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
