I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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