Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
