a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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