we have pet lesbian snakes
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize