just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize