a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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