Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
