The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
