His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he puts the penis in happiness.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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