I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
