I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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