how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
