His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
